Saturday, June 30, 2007

"You want the TRUTH? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

things can be a little unsettling when they are put into perspective.
how about friends who disappear into thin air. just like that. POOF! and they vanished. somehow reminds me of "Puff the Magic Dragon".
SAF should recruit that friend of mine. the ability to vanish into thin air. but of course i consider that person to be a former friend of mine. i dont need a friend whom i am UNABLE to contact.
right?
everytime i log in to blogger, i have to remind myself that i have to use my gmail account and not my hotmail account.

"You Jedi scum!"
"I love you, Padme."

courtesy of gary, i've managed to watch all six episodes of the star wars movies. with age, the way we see things differ. not necessarily more matured, but definitely different.
episodes 4, 5 and 6 are more of a CGI showcase.
episodes 1, 2 and 3 have more character development.
when i first watched the first three episodes many many years ago, i thought it was anakin's strong love for padme that resulted in him turning to the dark side.
but last week, after watching them again, i felt that it's the system that is at fault.
the Jedi order is too extremist. you are not allowed to love, for love brings about jealousy and that will lead us into the dark side.
sounds like a system whereby the followers are trusted to be able to make their own decisions. in trying to create a perfect society, many rights have been removed.
sounds a little orwellian eh?
and even though the all-powerful and all-knowing master yoda knows thatyoung anakin is hiding something, he refused to help.
i really find this ridiculous. so if jedi knights are not allowed to fall in love, then where are they gonna get their young padawans from?
maybe things will get too detached.

"Realpolitik"

just because some asshole used to have a brother so all the seniors take care of him. and just because all the seniors take care of him, other people are supposed to give him what he wants.
if he dont get what he wants, be prepare to suffer.
in the whole idea of fair share, that asshole thinks that i'm "qie"-ing him. when actually everybody did their fair share.
just because he doesnt like to do cerain time shifts, three other people have to accomodate him.
and so because i didnt give him what he wanted, plus the fact that he thinks i'm bullying him, that asshole went to complain to out senior who is probably a good friend of his older brother.
and now.
for 16 weeks in a ROW! every single weekend og mine is burnt! i havent have a single weekend to enjoy for 16 WEEKS IN A ROW!
politics.
so when the seniors ORD, he's gonna get it. because i want to see who can he turn to for help next time.
and next time, i'm gonna really "qie" him upside-down.

and people ask why 90% of the guys resent NS and why they become so angsty.
so excuse me if i'm hot-blooded, short-tempered and seem to be lacking in patience. this is the new me.

hitchhiking back to normal-ville. anybody?

Saturday, June 23, 2007

things get rather interesting once in a while. or maybe what i'm trying to say is LIFE gets interesting.

i went around reading other people's blog and i thought to myself, "damn. i'm missing out on so much."
no, i do not meant that serving NS has eaten away my private life. there are people i know who may be serving NS and yet still have the ability to live life to the fullest. maybe i dont really want to live life to the fullest. maybe i just want to laze around and do nothing. some of my friends are able to laze around and do nothing better than me.

maybe i have this inferiority thingy in me.

but i just dont know.

=====

friends have told me how terrible i looked. and that is the fact. the fact that i havent been able to sleep properly for the past few months. resulting in me always being tired and unable to think.

tossing and turning away throughout the whole night. i only get to fall asleep at around 5 or 6 am in the morning.

sigh

=====

something big happened recently. it's big. but i dont think i want to talk about it. at least not that openly.
it's big enough to start me thinking about my own life.

but the gist of it is that i bumped into rachel a few weeks ago.
she's around 18 this year and she has a three year old daughter.

the last time i saw her was around three years ago and she was working at a fastfood restaurant with a big belly.

having not seen each other for quite a long time, we went to a coffeeshop for a chat.

i realised.

she has matured. matured so much that it kinda scared me. she made me feel as though i'm still a kid even though i'm two years older than her.

a single mum working hard to support two mouths. (the guy disappeared and she was "disowned" by her parents and kicked out of the household)

i really really pity her and i really really dont know how to help.

i'm at a loss of words now.

partly because i'm tired.

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i've lost my interest in reading hemingway's books. they are way too deep for my tired mind.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

oh well, havent been online for a long time.
so much happened. they are all trivial actually.

caught almost all the movies available. so much so tha when G asked me out for a movie, i cant really watch any with G cos i've finished all of them.

spiderman 3 was a disappointment. it's practically the same for each installment. new villians show up, spidey loses power. dumped by girlfriend. got an inspiration. won girlfriend back. eliminate villian.

pirates 3 was interesting, ubt due to the fact that i've missed the second movie, i felt very very lost. but just watched the second movie yesterday, so now everything makes sense.

seaweeds craze is here. tao kae noi.
oh, boyband craze is back too. backstreet boys, westlife. etc etc.

havent blogged for a long time, so kinda forgot what i wanted to blog about.
just typing for the sake of typing i guess.

i passed my basic theory test and applied for my provisional driving license. 24th june is my final theory trial test.
the earliest i can start driving is 7th or 8th july.

went shopping a few weeks ago. bought a pair of Morrison jeans at $155, GAP collar tee at $55 and a Double D-ring belt for $49.
now all i need is a new cologne, wallet, and something which i cant seem to remember.

oh well, till then.
getting a little lonely here..

julia: what do you mean by i'm learning your blogging tips??

Sunday, June 3, 2007

hi, i'm elle's friend!

thanks to emily for the invitation to the zai studio "concert". nice ambience and stuff, although the music was a little too loud, even for a partially deaf me, for my liking.

but i guess it's just great to see old friends again. even though it was just two of them. tze and em. we should have taken a picture.
i AM tempted to pick up a guitar to start playing again. but when i reach home, i'm faced with the fact that i am currently without a guitar.

oh well.

went to read the guitar blog. my god. take it easy guys. when i was in guitar club, i thought it was one of the cool places to go hang out. since everybody there was like so easy to get along.
i dont know. i'm too old. but relax.

reading the book "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller has kind of opened a new world to me. a world where things dont have to make sense. where random rubbish can actually make te most logical sense. where sometimes your greatest enemies arent just those that you hate and so much more.

but the sequel to "Catch-22", "Closing Time". i can absolutely make no sense as to what the author is trying to portray. he's like trying to bring over the craziness of the previous book but this time round, the craziness makes no sense. all the characters in "Closing Time" are crazy just for the sake of being crazy.

anyway, i've already given up completing "Closing Time". Currently reading "A Farewell To Arms" by Ernest Hemingway.